Xmas season

every year two weeks before 25th December, i would spend my times accompanying my sisters buying things for a cheerful Xmas. the memories are non-returnable.

every year a day before 25th December, i would help mr j and his beloved wife tidy up our house so that it will be the best place for us families to hang out and spend our Xmas together. i would help out in the kitchen and help aeryn, my sister in her cooking. we like to make manok pansoh and lamb chop for the special dinner.

every year at Xmas night, i would spend a great dinner with them, and we talk about lives, with our family members are increasing as 1 by 1 get married. i would hang out with the other male family members, in living room, talk about what a great life we have, with the beers on the table.

every year on 25th December, my sisters friends would come and enliven our house with their laugh and cheers.

.....

the memories are non-returnable. mr j asked me to go back home. he asked me to go home, with my old faith. and still, i'm so sorry, dad. i can't do that. 

there are times that my mind in doubtful, but i'm so sure that, my path is real. even i have to let go all that i had before, because my life is His, is not permanent for me to keep.

morning solitude

Staring at the quiet morning

Full of calming voices

Flit with the little one crying

Begging in the full morning light

In my world all the problems solved by singing

And the soothing sounds of music

My demand my passion my love

In the morning full of happiness

I still believe even I am just dreaming

The others soon is going to realize my dream

For a better world than my little world

Forgive me for being defeated and fell

While conducting my responsibilities

Dear God take my dream

To all that you love

I'm still confused and do not understand

Is these are more precious than life

A significant human

the peacemaker: may the world is getting better, without war, and expressed by love.

Gaza

godspeed

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds:
The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful:
Owner of the Day of Judgement.
Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) was ask for help.
Show us the straight path:
The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.

Al-Fatihah





why I chose Islam?

because Islam leads me to a complete way of life, a chance to get close to Him and His blessings. I never been in this peace before, and Islam enlighten the path for me to follow, a stairway to heaven. In my previous faith, I kept wondering of all the contradictions strikes. I never satisfied with all the answers they told me when I'm arguing on trinities. 

I lose everything, yet i won my faith. and the best quotes in my life is Al-Quran, His words. 

I was an infidel who against my current religion before, I provoked them, but somehow, I lose to someone who compared my previous worship as a 3-in-1 nescafe. and now, i understand that Islam is such a beauty, but its worshiper who polluted its beauty. Godspeed.

a primrose lane

i own u. i'm yours.

as i expected, i became an orphan before its time. fortunately, a friend is willingly to share his home and his family with me. only Allah could fares them well. i'm broke. my only property is this laptop. i could only pray that these incidents end well. i miss them, but they still mad at me. time heals us soon. i started to know how to recite a few surah well. my faith guidance is strengthening as day passes by. i'm planning my steps all over again, deciding where i should put my chess piece in this game of life. 

one day, i'll be walking down primrose lane, with a sweet wife and seven brilliant children. 

life isn't being too cruel, cause I've been granted a miracle, a serene to keep me in peace, who turns to a cloud to suck my sadness and bring down the rain to give me rainbow. such a sweet tragedy i couldn't resist.

the arts of love

i was a heartless man. who never thought that i would fall for a girl.

yet, i fall for a sweet princess from the moon.

why do i like her so much? why do i love her deeply? the only reason that i could come up to is,

Girl, you are amazing, just the way you are.

and you keep me falling for you every seconds.

tabs to be learned

honey - laruku

sweet tragedy

seventh one-oh-seven

Endy: "someone is cutting her heart into two

there's an empty hole inside me.

n the other half being cut 

seems to fit the empty hole" 

Serene: "i thought it was a non existence space. 

it can bee seen but it cant be touched. 

so the other half of her heart crush on the floor instead."

Endy: "it can be touched.

try to put the heart into its place

would you be my unintended?"

Serene: "what is that song means to"

Endy: "try to figure it out"

Serene: "but my mind is blank I suppose"

Endy: "try to decode it with your heart instead"

Serene: "a story of a person coming out of depression because they have recently found happiness from love, and they now wish to see their life through to the end"

Endy: " I want to put the heart into the non-existence space. so that it wont break,

and crush onto the floor.

let it safe inside me."

Serene: "I'm sinking. deep to unknown spaces"

Endy: " then, sink into that non-existence space"

Serene: "a very unsure place

& I'm not very sure whether it is darkness or it a light

but it is indeed give me warmness"

Endy: "I can't assure u the light nor the darkness

but i assure you the comfortance

the warmness

where you are apart of me.

even i'm more to a silhouette image to you."

Serene: "can this sinned dark heart really fit in there?"

Endy: "indeed

it suited the most"

Serene: "is there any other words better than 'I do' to answer your 'would you be my unintended'?"

Endy: "say that 'I would love to be your unintended'.."

Serene: "I would love to"

Endy: "you made me shivers"

Serene: "seriously?

you seems to be so cool back there"

Endy: "I'm cool"

Serene: "I'm there one who shivers alot"

Endy: as I tried to put it safely in me,

I shivers

but I'm sure

once it is safe.

I can sense your heart is strongly alive inside me."

Serene: you are so confident arent you?"

Endy: confident enough to tell myself that I fall for you

it's a sweet tragedy"

Serene: "a betrayal of friendship"

Endy: "I'm a traitor."

Serene: "I thought it was me"

Endy: "both of us did.

that'd made it a sweet tragedy."

Serene: "I am now really inside yours."

Endy: "n I can feel it deeply."

Serene: "do take care of me"

Endy: "yes.I am."

Serene: "I dont think im a good person

but I try my best to be good to you

& care for you"

Endy: "good woman for good man

and vice versa

but please, I'm mending my life back,

n i know you understand that"

Serene: "yes

I know that

very well

& you are doing great"

Endy: "it's not a matter who r the 1st or 2nd

what matter is U"

Serene: "you may be not my 1st

but my heart is full with you. now. & no one else

&i really fall for you

thank you for falling for me too"

Endy: "thank you for letting ur heart transferred into me

n make me full of you

for just you"

your heart is safe and warm in me. 

all that matters are only you. 

and I'm so full of you. 

and I love just the way you are.

*you are inside my heart. dont be scared. I'm yours*

*when you feel the coldness, I'll be your comforter to warm you.*

*when you your heart covered by the darkness, I'll be your light to brighten you.*

dear God, thanks, for the Miracle that You had granted me.

and I'm no longer a heartless. I'm taken.