their warmness

As I arrived to his bed, where the air smelled of medicines, the heart aches seeing him moveless and stiff, his wife is crying next to him. I hold his hand and the warmness is still there.

 I hugged his wife and said, "He'll be okay, mom." 

What if he know that I am no more a devoted Jesus follower?

I will lose them. I will lose their warmness.
Mr J told me once. " Son, don't ever convert to Islam, don't ever leave our religion. If that happens, don't ever assume me your father again."

 My soul stirs hard, and i'm taking a huge breath at the junction of two roads.